An Unusual 'Frequent Kidnapping'
by kidneyofcapaldi
Summary: Roxanne sees a glimmer of heroism in the super-villain known as Megamind, but only by accident. Oneshot.


**A/N: Long story short, Megamind was on TV today and it gave me all the feels. I found this on my computer from a couple years ago, and thought you guys might enjoy it. So here you go!**

Roxanne Ritchi moaned as she regained consciousness and smelled the familiar scent of 'the bag'.

A few months ago, finding herself in a similar situation, she had thought it couldn't possibly smell any worse. Ever. Now, as she listened to the thrum of a car engine, she saw (or smelled, rather) how wrong she was. The stench was a nauseating mix of sweaty gym socks and something she couldn't quite put her finger on. She shuddered and made a mental note to tell Megamind to wash it next time he used it on her.

As her head cleared further from the knockout gas that Minion had generously sprayed, she began hearing a conversation from the front seat.

_Great, _she thought sarcastically as she recognized the two voices. _Time for another tea party with my two favorite people._

Although she would never admit it, Roxanne actually enjoyed being kidnapped from time to time. It made her feel valued, and it added variety to the usual work schedule she stuck to every day as a reporter.

Trying not to make any noise or alert them that she was awake, she craned her neck to hear Megamind and Minion better from the black leather back seat.

"...wonder if they would be proud. I mean, proud of what I'm trying to accomplish. You don't remember them that well either, do you, Minion?"

"Not really, Sir. But I'm sure that they would be proud of you if they could see you now."

Roxanne suddenly felt like she was intruding, and wished that the knockout concoction had lasted a little longer.

"Who wouldn't be proud of you, Sir?! I know I am. You've changed so much from that little boy that used to mix corrosive chemicals for fun."

Minion sounded as though he were tearing up a little. That is, if space fish can tear up.

"Thank you, Minion. You always know what to say," Megamind stated with a dramatic sigh.

The reporter was filled with a mixture of amusement and pity- amusement at the fact that the 'incredibly handsome master of all villainy' and his minion were getting sentimental, and pity that Megamind seemed to be talking about his deceased parents.

Roxanne knew the grief that came with losing family. Her mother had died in a car accident when she was very young, so she had been raised by a single father. Not for the first time, she pitied the alien for his background. It must have been so hard for him to be stranded on a strange planet with no family or friends.

_But that doesn't excuse his actions_, she chided herself.

The black stealth vehicle screeched to a stop. Roxanne heard Megamind and Minion get out and slam the doors. The backseat door flew open, and she did her best to remain limp as Minion picked her up and carried her to their destination. She was set down gently in a familiar chair. But instead of the usual routine of the bag being pulled of with an overdramatic flourish, she felt herself being bound around the waist with a thick cord. She could tell Minion was the culprit by the robotic sounds his fingers made as they tied secure knots in the rope. Roxanne fidgeted as he made sure the knots were in place.

When she moved, heard the usual excited whisper of "She's waking up! Places!"

The cord around her waist tightened and began to pull her upwards. She realized that she was being suspended in the air. The movement stopped, and she was left dangling.

Finally, the bag was whisked off her head. She knew where she was, of course. The bleeping buttons and multiple monitors made that clear right away. She was in the usual hideout where most of Megamind's plans failed.

"We meet again, Miss Ritchi," said a sinister voice. A tall black chair slowly swiveled around to reveal a smirking Megamind stroking a brain-bot. His vibrant green eyes were inclined upwards in order to see his captive's reaction to her predicament.

"Going for a Godfather look today, I see," Roxanne smirked and gestured toward the bot with a cocked eyebrow.

Minion's head popped excitedly around the corner, his amber eyes sparkling.

"Actually, we just watched that yester-"

"_Minion!_"

The fish reproachfully glanced at his friend, perturbed at being interrupted. "Right. Sorry, Sir. I'll just go, uh... somewhere else..."

Megamind glared at him for a moment before he quietly scuttled off, then continued with his usual banter: how Roaxanne's screaming would do her no good, how today would be the day Metroman would finally grovel before him in defeat. The whole time, Roxanne hung immobile, a little tired of his repetitive speech.

"...and today, on the anniversary of my planet's demise, I will destroy Metroman as he comes to rescue you with my extremely evil DEATH RAY!"

Megamind leapt up and yanked the cover off a frightening looking gun in the corner of the room. Roxanne was still skeptical. He then walked briskly to the opposite side of the room and pulled a lever.

"And just to make sure Metroman's bait doesn't try to escape..."

Below Roxanne, the floor split in two and opened to reveal a pit of hungry alligators.

"Ooh, alligators. That's original."

Megamind facepalmed in disbelief. Nothing scared this reporter anymore. He looked at her as if to say, _You're kidding, right? _She just shrugged.

"And a death ray? Hasn't that been a little overdone?"

Something in her mind clicked, though, as she replayed the first part of his sentence over in her head.

"Wait. The 'anniversary of your planet's demise'?!"

Megamind paused from his evil genius tirade and looked up at the reporter with a slight frown.

"Yes," he said matter-of-factly. "Today, twenty-six years ago, my entire planet was sucked into a category twelve black hole." He looked at her again. "What of it?"

"Oh, nothing," she said too quickly. Her mind was piecing the puzzle together. _That's why he was so emotional in the car ride here_, she concluded.

"Hmph," came the suspicious response. He opened his mouth to continue with his speech.

"I'm sorry," Roxanne mumbled.

Megamind looked at her like he must have misheard.

"Come again?"

"I'm, um...sorry that you had to lose your family that way. It must be hard to be reminded of."

Megamind stared at her dumbly, his green eyes wide. No one but Minion had ever pitied him for his past before. He didn't know what to say at this random display of compassion.

Turning his attention to the ground, he mumbled back, "Thank you." He dared to glance up at her again to find that she was staring at him with a puzzled expression.

_Maybe he's not so evil, after all_, the reporter surmised_._

Megamind cleared his throat and took a step forward to continue his lecture. Suddenly, he did a double take at the rope that held Roxanne in the air. It was frayed, and the spindly fibers of the thing were coming undone.

"Oh, dear," he said.

"What?" Roxanne gave herself a once over and saw nothing unusual. She froze when she heard the snapping noise by her left ear, and didn't have to look to realize what was happening.

"Uh, Megamind...?"

The alien had already raced over to one of his monitors. It looked like a fish radar, and it seemed to be tracking one target. A singular dot was making its way slowly towards the hideout. _Metroman,_ she realized.

"Yes, I see the problem...It's...uh...all part of the plan!" His eyes moved rapidly from one screen to another. He huffed and finally he said, "By my calculations, it looks like our boyfriend in tights won't reach you by the time that rope snaps."

The reporter gulped and looked down at the eager reptiles below.

"Ugh. Why can't that Elvis wannabe just fly faster?!" the villain mumbled under his breath. He turned to face his prisoner, put his hands on his hips, and sighed in resignation, frowning at her with a raised eyebrow.

"Don't look at me like this is my fault!" she yelled at him.

Megamind rolled his eyes and stomped over to the lever he had thrown to open the pit. As he did so, he mumbled about 'rope's awful quality these days' and a 'perfectly good evil scheme ruined' to no one in particular. He disengaged the lever, and Roxanne waited for the gator pool to close.

Nothing happened. The alligators continued to grin up at the suspended woman with wide-open jaws.

Megamind threw the lever again, and still nothing happened. Roxanne lurched downwards as more of the rope's fibers broke in two.

"Closing this pit would be nice, please!" Roxanne said.

She was starting to get worried. If Metroman didn't arrive in time—well, she didn't even want to go there.

"It's not working!" Megamind yelled back from the opposite end of the room.

Roxanne cried out as she again lurched down, and Megamind saw that the rope would break in a matter of seconds. The agitated alligators snapped their jaws in anticipation.

She captured the villain with one last imploring stare, hoping that he wouldn't just stand by and watch her fall to her death. He recognized the look in her eyes and shook his head.

He didn't intend to.

He flung off his spiky cape to get it out of the way, and he started running towards the pit as the last of the rope's fibers split. The reporter cried out again as she plummeted towards the bloodthirsty predators, when suddenly the wind was knocked out of her.

Megamind had jumped over the pit and dived to knock her out of the way. He managed to grab hold of her as they hurtled toward the opposite edge of the pit, and now that the rope was no longer restraining her, she could hold onto him.

For a scary moment, it seemed as though the force of the collision wasn't enough- but Megamind's outstretched hands just barely made contact with the rim of the pit, and he managed to get a strong grip on it. Using all of his strength, he pulled himself and Roxanne up and over the edge, where they both collapsed face up, gasping for breath.

After a few minutes passed, a stunned Roxanne looked over at Megamind.

"You saved my life," she said in a disbelieving tone. He looked back at her and realized the truth of her statement.

"Well, I...er...couldn't just watch you fall?" he responded. Even he couldn't believe what he had just done.

He awkwardly stood up, brushed himself off, and offered a hand to the still grounded Roxanne. She reluctantly accepted it. Once he had helped her to her feet, they stood there and sized each other up.

Of course, Minion chose this moment to walk back into the room. He stopped dead in his tracks when he saw his boss holding their captive's hand. After the initial shock wore off, he coughed to make his presence known.

The two looked at him, looked at where their hands were, and looked back at each other. Megamind immediately released Roxanne's hand and blushed a bright purple. She, in turn, turned crimson and busily went about straightening her dress.

Megamind finally snapped out of his temporary stupor and walked briskly over to where he had flung off his cape. While slipping it back on, he said with his usual evil smile, "Minion. Make yourself useful and prepare Metroman's greeting."

"Yes, Sir," Minion responded while winking at Roxanne. She pretended not to notice.

The super villain turned his attention back to the reporter once his assistant was again out of the room. Picking up another coil of rope, he said, "Miss Ritchi, if you don't mind?"

She smirked and rolled her eyes. Megamind pulled his favorite leather chair out from under the desk and wheeled it over to where she was standing. She promptly sat down, and Megamind began tying the rope around her waist. As he did so, he whispered into her ear from behind, "Mention _any _of this to Metroman and you are _so _going to taste my dehydration ray."

As he entered her line of vision and stood before her, she said with a chuckle, "Don't worry. It'll be our little secret."


End file.
